He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
i've created a new STD.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
