I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
