O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
my being single is dangerous.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
