so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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