smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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