Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toyâ€
Randomize
