I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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