Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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