I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Why is there bacon in the couch?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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