FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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