# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
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