I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
