Whod you bang
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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