Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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