Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I think your dad took our porno
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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