Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
