Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
