Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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