Nicole vs. Life
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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