Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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