They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
