you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
