The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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