lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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