Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
