Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
