the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
