OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
