i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize