Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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