real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
