is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
