no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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