There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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