Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
