i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
