eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
