I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
