Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
