I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize