Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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