I cut my penus on the lid.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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