I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
as a side note pls kill me
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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