I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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