sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
