Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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