I heard we made out
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
