so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
