she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
