During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
