I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
