Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
