He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Randomize
