he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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