And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
