Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize