Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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