I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
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