he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
