Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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