My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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