I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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