Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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