and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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